Sex, Violence and MEEETAAAAAAAAAAL

Yeah, that got your attention. Today’s mini-post is a meta-rant on the “maturity” of the gaming community and why everyone else is wrong.

I’d like you to take a look at a Dragon Age trailer. It’s “that” one, entitled “Sex and Violence” by some:

Now, this trailer is from E3, where Dragon Age was infamously shown to be entirely about pointless sex and outrageous violence (see the actual presentation here). There was a bit of a complaint about this, in that it seemed the game had “sold out” to the lowest common denominator. And what I have to say is: “So?” and “Shut up”.

Let’s get one thing clear, that first trailer is ridiculously cool. It manages to go past the standard Tolkinien setting into something altogether darker, more violent, more brutal. Is it loud, raucous and altogether silly? Yes. Is it brilliant, new and exactly what the fantasy RPG genre needs? Damn right it is. Its got mass battles, inspiring speeches, shouty men, blood, death, impressive one-liners – I’ll stop before you get tired, but all it needs is robots and laser beams to be a classic.

My point being: it doesn’t have robots and laser beams, its got dragons and fire breathing. No laser swords, just swords. Magical armour and fireballs instead of psychic powers and energy shields. It’s all the best bits of sci-fi firmly slammed into a fantasy universe.

Alright, moving on to the meaningless sex and hilariously easy librarians. So it’s tactless, unreal, stupid – we’re talking about a universe where people get away with what Morrigan is wearing there! Of course it’s silly, but have you played The Witcher? I’m thinking a more refined version of that, perhaps with slightly less collectible card games.

Gotta catch em all

Gotta catch em' all

But honestly, I don’t see the problem – for an obviously too short-trailer trying to show off as much of the game as possible to garner positive reviews, I think the presenter did remarkably well. There was even a glimpse of some kind of moral repercussions (still, after all these years, a buzzfeature) to getting off with everything in si- LOOK, THE GUY JUMPS ON A DRAGON AND STABS IT IN THE HEAD!

An old woman turns into a dragon when you hunt her down under the power of some tempting seductress! Characters turn into giant infected spiders! Manly main characters survive being thrown around by demon beasts! Hordes of demons attack fleeing, helpless peasants! Are we so bitter and worn we don’t see awesome any more? I say, bring on the rock music and slaughtering Bioware, I’ve been waiting for proper action fantasy for years.

—-

A little shorter than I was thinking but it really was just an excuse for me to preview Dragon Age and say I’m excited. Also that as an 18 year old I approve whole-heartedly of fake sex and pretend violence. Yeah.

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